Can you hear me now?

by Tina Y. Gerber–McCurley

I find it interesting that the smallest bone in your body is in your ear. It is called the stapes and is the size of a pea. The three smallest bones in the human body are in the ear, collectively known as ossicles. These bones are in the middle ear, and their job is to transmit sound vibrations. As sound passes through the middle ear, it hits the cochlea, transforming it into neural signals, for your brain to receive as sound.

It made me wonder why husbands don't listen or hear their wives. I am joking, of course, but communication is the key to any relationship. Remember, no one is perfect, and this includes both husbands and wives. We must be willing to compromise to resolve any conflicts.

I am no marriage expert, but perhaps we all need to understand what is really happening. Does he feel his needs are being met, or he may just be tuning you out? My husband says, all he hears is a buzzing sound when I talk. This is an incredibly frustrating experience, especially if you feel like your husband is not considering your feelings and needs. Marriage is never easy. He has short-term memory loss, since his stroke, and I find I am continually saying the same thing, over and over.

When our husbands don't listen to us, we need to take the time and effort to understand what he is hearing. As women, we need to communicate what we want from our partner. Allow them to reflect on the problem and allow them to fix it. The problem, as I see it, is most men want to fix the problem when women vent, and this is only sometimes what we truly want.

Ask your partner the best way to move forward, instead of telling them what needs to be done. This is the reason my husband calls me bossy boots. Honesty is always the best policy, if there is a chance of working through disagreements together as a couple. Even after an open conversation, it may not solve the problem(s), and you may want to enter couples counselling or therapy, where communication, honesty and respect between partners need further attention.

After all, it's essential both of you feel understood within your relationship. If you want a happy and healthy marriage, communication is vital for a healthy and fulfilling marriage. It's even more important couples treat each other better, forgive, listen and always put God at the center of their relationship.